Query Writing

The Query Letter 

The query letter is the first thing a prospective editor or agent sees. It’s the piece of writing that represents the longer work you are presenting. It has to be good. It also has to be short. I’ve written quite a few queries to both agents and small press editors. My first novel, Innocence Lost (unpublished, for good reason) was my guinea pig for query writing. I got a decent response from agents, quite a few requests for partial views of my manuscript and a handful of requests for the full manuscript. The query was good, the story was just so so. It was also long: just over 106k words. Yikes! I was told over and over that it would likely not be accepted at that length because I’m not a well-known author, and the general reading public is cautious of debut novelists.

The Details 

The query letter is short. It’s no more than a page in length, ideally less than that. You want to begin your query with a firm topic sentence introducing your work. I found that agents and editors liked it when I just jumped right in. For example, from the actual query that got dozens of agent’s attention:

Dear Ms. Smith:

My 106,425 word novel, Innocence Lost, is a suspenseful young adult thriller told by male protagonist, Travers Cowen.

I found that jumping right into word count, title, genre, and main character worked really well for me. What I did next, before talking about myself at all, was I dove in and told the synopsis of the story I’d written:

Travers is a seventeen year old boy with a brutal past trying to flesh out a normal life while keeping a keen eye on his brother and sister, twins, Ryley and Xalie. When tragedy strikes and the twins are kidnapped from the mall by ruthless human traffickers, Travers has no choice but to take matters into his own hands. With the police coming up short on leads, Travers crosses the globe in search of his siblings, driven by a promise he made to them years prior.

Filled with suspense, terror, and teenage romance, Innocence Lost tells the story about what happens when calamity strikes and the only thing driving the unlikely hero is the raw obsession to find his family and destroy their captors. My novel is unique in that there are very few stories for young adults that deal with coming-of-age and the real danger of human trafficking at the same time. Readers who liked Sold by Patricia McCormick will like Innocence Lost.

You can see that I’ve written two short paragraphs explaining my story. I’ve also given the agent/editor some information that proves I’d done my homework. I told them why my story was unique, why it could be good for the YA market, and I mentioned another book that was similar by an already successful author.

The next part of the query was about me, and it was short. Take a look:

My short non-fiction has appeared in Southwest Florida Parent and Child, Young Salvationist, and Backwoods Home Magazine. I have two poems forthcoming in Stepping Stones Magazine, and I also won the Rose Koches Poetry Award in March of this year. In the spring, I have my first full-length book of poetry forthcoming from Apprentice House Press. In addition to publishing, I worked briefly with an organization in Cape Coral, FL that rescues girls from human trafficking and places them in a safe house while the girls were rehabilitated. I learned quite a bit about human trafficking and how the sex industry works while volunteering my time. I work as a 7^th grade English teacher. This is my first novel. As stated in your guidelines, I’ve pasted the first chapter of my manuscript below my query.  As I am actively seeking representation, I am also querying other agents. Thank you for considering Innocence Lost.

When talking about the “YOU” in your query, you want to provide the most relevant information about yourself. I DIDN’T mention that I have a family, a dog, and that I like cool, rainy weather. I DID mention that I worked with a safe house which helped to rehabilitate girls from the sex industry. I mentioned my career (a teacher) and I highlighted my writing merits…all in just a paragraph. Put together, my query is three paragraphs, just shy of a full page, and quick and to the point. I also made it clear that I was pursuing other agents. It’s just common courtesy to let agents and editors know this.

What You Don’t Include 

1. Don’t talk about money in a query letter…ever. Never. Never. You’ll get a rejection immediately no matter if you’ve written the best novel or poetry collection the literary world has ever seen. People who talk money in a query letter are clearly unprofessional and money hungry. It’s like meeting someone for the first time, shaking their hand on the street corner, and saying, “Hi, I’m Kyle. I’m worth  $120,000.” It’s off-putting. The money talk will come AFTER your manuscript is accepted and not a minute sooner.

2. Don’t talk yourself up too much. “This manuscript is going to be your next best-selling novel.” Although confidence is admired and needed in this business, over-confidence in a query is viewed the same it is on the street: pompous and brazen. Always take the humble path. Always.

3. Don’t be negative. Likewise, don’t be down on yourself. Telling a prospective agent or editor “some fine tuning in the editing department will make this novel/poetry collection/etc… an excellent read” is not going to gain you any favors either. Neither will saying something along the lines of “I know this isn’t the best, but it’s the best I can do” garner you success either.

4. Don’t provide too much information. As stated above, don’t give your life history. Your relevant accomplishments (if any), a few well-placed personal facts (I’m an English teacher and I’ve volunteered with an organization which helps stop human trafficking), and your contact information is all anyone needs.

Another Example 

Below is the exact query letter I sent to Apprentice House when I was courting them for the publication of my book of poetry Hush, Don’t Tell Nobody. I wrote the query, sent in the first several poems, and they got back to me in less than a month asking for the whole manuscript. Two weeks later I had a home for my debut book. 

Hush, Don’t Tell Nobody explores the small and beautiful things of life, the complexities of marital relationships, and child abuse. One of the themes of the manuscript is forgiveness in the face of tragedy; more subtle themes include love, simplicity, and Divine grace. I believe that you will find the poems in this collection to be diverse throughout. You will also find that each poem builds one upon the other culminating in a single revelation of the power of forgiveness. 

Other Thoughts

Don’t loose heart when you get rejected. Rejection is just part of being a writer. Very few writers find success the first time. In fact, I’ve read somewhere that the average author doesn’t publish their first book, or even their first five books. You’ve got to handle rejection with grace. Just because something is rejected, doesn’t mean it’s no good. Agents and editors have to reject far more work than they accept. If you are rejected from one place, move on to the next. When I was working at a commercial lending recruiter (head hunting) my boss would often listen to us make our phone calls. When we’d make a call that was unsuccessful, the person wasn’t interested in making a move to another bank or uninterested in offering us a referral (which was ALL THE TIME), he would say, “Neeeext, who’s neeeext?!” and blow it off like it was no big deal. He blew it off because it WAS NOT a big deal. Rejection is just part of life. Dust yourself off, resubmit elsewhere, and keep writing.

Coming Up

Thursday we’ll take a look at Yellowrocket and Motion Poems by Todd Boss.